The Mood Hoover

Product Information

As George Michael so eloquently put it in the classic hit Young Guns, ‘caution pays’ (although George was talking about death by matrimony rather than death by sabre-toothed Tiger). Mood hoovers can have a significant effect on your workforce as they drag other people down with them.

Of course, Stan hated butterflies, but still the machine wouldn't start and nothing he did could make it work, even setting the machine to maximum. Try and find a therapist/ring a helpline on the QT/find out your rights and how you could live without him financially. However, if it doesn’t, then together with evidence of further instances, it is possible to start to deal with this as misconduct. I hope that is sooner rather than later for you Pictish; he's sucked the life and soul out of you long enough now.Offer encouragement when they express positive thoughts or behaviours, and acknowledge when they try to be more positive. Practice bringing your attention to your breathing in those moments when you are experiencing others’ negativity. A key strategy is to disengage from the negative conversation topic and switch to another, lighter or more positive subject.

We still go out with friends, never alone and I cannot go abroad on holiday with him after the last one as I had to fly home on day 3 his moods were so bad. There are many such examples of women going into counselling with their abusers and more often than not the above scenario plays out. Each situation is subjective, but by challenging a current situation that may affect you every time you are with a particular person allows for it to potentially be made better. You don’t need to jettison the entire contents of your little black book, just think about when you have the most energy and are better able to manage negativity when planning your time.If you know that specific topics or situations tend to trigger their negativity, try to avoid those subjects as much as possible. According to psychologist Rick Hanson, we have negativity bias built into our brains based on millions of years of dealing with threats. In this story a boy that is labelled as mischievous, but actually just comes across as mean-spirited and unpleasant, steals happiness from different settings through his magical hoover.

Talk to them about self talk, growth mindset and resilience and show them the road to healthier mental habits. How do you deflect negativity…it’s really draining me to live with this but I worry about the impact on the kids if I leave. Challenging the way someone is doesn’t mean you have to do this is an unkind way, just perhaps an honest one. If the ratio isn’t working out in your favour and you’re beginning to feel dragged down, consider limiting the amount of time that you spend around people who drain your energy. Dealing with someone who is constantly negative can be challenging, but it's important to remember that you have control over your own reactions and behaviours .To get the conversation back on track, simply ask, ‘what can we do to have an effect on or change the situation? True ‘mood hoovers’ however, can make for a more difficult employee, as they are entrenched in their behaviour. James Fowler of UC San Diego and Nic Christakis of Harvard describe the ‘chain reaction’ of compassion and how it has a domino effect on those we come into contact with. To give mood hoovers an accurate description, they are people who suck the energy, life, and positivity out of a person and replace it with their own negativity. However, this need is more pronounced for some people, and they may go to extreme lengths to get it met.

This breeds resentment and ill-feeling between staff and by preventing members of your team working effectively together, will ultimately lead to decreased performance across the entire team. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead of engaging in negative conversations, steer the conversation towards more positive, optimistic topics. You are planning to 'get through' the next 2 years and then you'll have time and energy to really deal with the issue. No matter how positive you are, sometimes you’re in a situation where those around you have lost their mojo and radiate negativity.

Letting a mood hoover become aware of the impact they have on people could have the potential to cause damage to the relationship you have with them, depending on how that relationship is made up. DH you’re tired a lot at the moment even after a full nights sleep - do you think you should see the GP? Legitimate grievances or concerns are fine, but mood hoovers constantly moan to whoever will listen. Going it alone for a short time when he's working away is very different to lone parenting where you know it's just you.