The language is a bit old (the book was published in 1981), but the strategies are great. It isn’t super-elaborate on the techniques but is more about giving you a broad understanding. It’s heavily research-based. Sometimes, at the beginning of the chapters, you think, “This is way too obvious” but then the author gives a new take on what you thought you knew. Your Personal Thesaurus – Look up some common words you use every day in the thesaurus. Then, like slipping your feet into a new pair of shoes, slip your tongue into a few new words to see how they fit. If you like them, start making permanent replacements. Remember, only fifty words makes the difference between a rich, creative vocabulary and an average, middle-of-the-road one. Substitute a word a day for two months and you’ll be in the verbally elite. This article was first published in April 2021. It was updated on 28 March 2022. Related Book Summaries The main message of this book is that if we want to have meaningful conversations, we have to be honest with ourselves and other people. The author explains 7 principles that will help you to understand what you and the people around you want and need, solve challenges in your relationships, and take responsibility for your words. Whenever someone asks you the inevitable, “where are you from?” Never, ever, unfairly challenge their powers of imagination with a one-word answer. Instead, learn exciting facts about your hometown that conversational partners can comment on. Then, when they say something clever in response to your bait, they think you’re a great conversationalist. 8. Never the naked job

A thought-provoking book about the effects of technology on our conversation skills 24. Reclaiming Conversation Have you ever admired those successful people who seem to "have it all?" You see them chatting confidently at business meetings, and comfortably at social parties. They're the ones with the best jobs, the nicest spouses, the finest friends, the biggest bank accounts, the most fashionable zip codes. The last move to make before leaving for the party— even after you’ve given yourself final approval in the mirror—is to turn on the radio news or scan your newspaper. Anything that happened today is good material. Knowing the big-deal news of the moment is also a defensive move that rescues you from putting your foot in your mouth by asking what everybody’s talking about. 50. The nutshell resume Book Genre: Business, Communication, Language, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Self Help

🍪 Privacy & Transparency

I also find it difficult to understand what, in Lowndes's opinion, constitutes proper, caring behavior, and what is shallow and false. A prime example is her pride in a form letter that she sends to supervisors of employees who have given her good service (Technique 90). To me, a form letter just doesn't seem the height of caring. She also doesn’t follow her own advice. She advises to avoid clichés, yet her book is filled with them. If you need information, let people have their entire say first. Then, wait patiently until their needle is empty, and the last drop drips out and splashes on the cement. It’s the only way to be sure their tank is empty enough of their inner noise to start receiving your ideas. 44. Echo the emo never make the phrase "Thank you " naked and alone , add something to it like ••((thank you for coming , thank you for waiting , thank you for being so loving , than you for understanding , thank you for getting us here , thank you for asking ))•• .

Facts speak. Emotions shout. Let them emote whenever you need points from people about an emotional situation. Hear their facts but empathize like mad with their feelings. Smearing on the emo is often the only way to calm their emotional storm. 45. Leave an escape hatch. Always Wear a Whatzit – Whenever you go to a gathering, wear or carry something unusual to give people who find you the delightful stranger across the crowded room an excuse to approach. “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your . . . what IS that?” The authors explain how to navigate difficult, emotionally-charged conversations where each person holds a different opinion about a high-stakes issue. The book provides tips to help you find common ground, solve problems, state your needs, and remain calm when you’re trying to find your way through a tense conversation.

When you do someone a favor, and it’s evident that “he owes you one,” wait a suitable amount before asking him to “pay.” Let him enjoy the fact (or fiction) that you did it out of friendship. Don’t call in your tit for their tattoo swiftly. 41. Parties are for the pleasantries.

If you want very applicable advice (If so, I can recommend this free guide on how to start a conversation) Having finished reading “How To Talk To Anyone” by Leil Lowndes, I can confidently say that this book has significantly impacted my communication skills. The author does a fantastic job of breaking down 92 essential tips and techniques for mastering the art of conversation, making it an engaging and informative read. When you meet a stranger you’d like to make less of a stranger, search for some special moment you shared during your first encounter. Then find a few words that reprieve the laugh, the warm smile, the good feelings the two of you felt. Like old friends, you have a history together, an instant account. Look for memorable moments with anyone you’d like to make part of your personal or professional future. 26. Carrier pigeon kudos The Latest News . . . Don’t Leave Home without It – The last move to make before leaving for the party — even after you’ve given yourself final approval in the mirror—is to turn on the radio news or scan your newspaper. Anything that happened today is good material. Knowing the big-deal news of the moment is also a defensive move that rescues you from putting your foot in your mouth by asking what everybody’s talking about. Foot-in-mouth is not very tasty in public, especially when it’s surrounded by egg-on-face.

Do you agree with this statement? “I want to be more interesting to talk to”

Call a Spade a Spade – Don’t hide behind euphemisms. Call a spade a spade. That doesn’t mean big cats use tasteless four-letter words when perfectly decent five- and six-letter ones exist. They’ve simply learned the King’s English, and they speak it. Here’s another way to tell the big players from the little ones just by listening to a few minutes of their conversation. Resist interrupting the speaker, as it can break the flow of conversation and make them feel unimportant. Instead, wait for the appropriate moment to interject if necessary.