Everly, you aren’t going to understand this, but I’m going to say it anyway. I love your mother more than I’ll ever be able to put in words. I’ve loved her for a long time. And even if I am mad or upset at her, which you should not even worry about, does not mean I stopped loving her. It doesn’t mean I want her or you or Emersyn to leave. Because trust me, if there is one thing I can assure you of, it’s that your mother, nor you, nor your sister are going anywhere. Ev, I don’t know how to make you understand, but you guys, all three of you, are my family now, tomorrow, and forever. No one is going anywhere. But I do need you to go into the house and upstairs, brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Don’t worry about showering. You can take a bath in the morning. It’s late, and I’m probably throwing a lot at you. I’m going to stop now,” I breathe, holding her tight for a second longer. Finally, I let up on my hold, and then I help her off my lap. “We can talk tomorrow if you don’t understand something or you need anything. Okay?”

I know you’ve already been accepted into the fellowship program, but have you considered with everything that’s happened, maybe it’s too much to take on right now?” He holds up his hand before I get a chance to say anything. “Just hear me out.” We stare at each other for a few seconds before I nod for him to continue. “What about coming home for a year or two? Peds is where your heart is. I get that, just as it is for your mom. Go into general practice instead of the surgical fellowship. Just for now, what about joining your mom’s practice when you complete your residency in June?” Memories are never forgotten. Or so it’s said, but she did. She forgot herself, me—us. She forgot everything. One day I woke up and there was only pain. This pain so fierce that I can’t overcome it alone. My heart was ripped out of my chest. I’m surviving, but barely. Not even the physical outlet I seek to purge the torment of remembering the one I can’t let go helps anymore. Sweetheart, you can call me Dad, or you can call me Shane. Whatever you want to call me is perfectly fine with me. But you are not in trouble. It’s fine that you know. I wanted you to know.” Every day that I wake up I’m in a fog. Before ten years ago I feel like I didn’t exist. Everything I knew had been erased. Some days I wish I had bad memories because even those would be better than none at all. Instead, I feel like I’m a character in a storybook, merely acting a role. I don’t know why, but none of it feels real. That’s crazy, right? Still, I can’t shake the feeling that everyone is hiding something from me. Even the man that lies next to me at night feels like a stranger. I just want to feel like I belong in my own skin. It then skips to 10yrs later where we start to see the unravelling of events that lead to the eventual rather dramatic end to a story that on the whole is sometimes heartbreaking but satisfying.Sure. Let’s do that.” I’ve been teaching her the same repetitive chords since she got the basics down. “If you think you’re ready we’ll add more chords tomorrow. Does that sound good?” My voice is a lot calmer than the emotions running through me. When she acted like she was about to get in trouble for doing something I went into doctor mode. Kids are all too often scared and nervous when they come in the ER injured. Half the time, they’re fearful they’ll get in trouble for their own injuries. As sad as the thought is, I was a kid too once, and it’s a normal feeling. Especially when you hurt yourself doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing.

Und die Kinder werden auch einfach in die Beziehung geschmissen und an - für die Kinder - fremde Menschen gegeben als wär‘s nichts. Egal, dass sie die Leute nicht kennen, denn immerhin war Mama ja vor Jahren mit denen befreundet. Without thought, I reach out and pull her onto my lap, into an embrace. It’s the first time I’ve hugged my daughter or touched her this much. It feels good. It feels right. She’s mine, and I’ve wanted this moment for too long now. It’s been less than a month since I’ve known her, but right now, right here, it feels like I’ve had her in my life longer. I absolutely fell in love with this book right from the start even though it broke my heart in places! When she takes the instrument, I grin proudly as she positions it on her lap and her hands on the guitar just as I’ve taught her.

Yeah, he’ll make a good father, and hell, how could he not? Our dad is there for us during the easiest of times and the hardest. Before ten years ago I feel like I didn’t exist. Everything I ever knew had been erased. Some days I wish I had bad memories because even those are better than none at all. Instead, I feel like I’m a character in a storybook, merely acting a role. I don’t know why, but none of it feels real. That’s crazy, right? Still, I can’t shake the feeling that everyone is hiding something from me. Even the man that lies next to me at night sometimes feels like a stranger. I just want to feel like I belong in my own life. I love you.” I’ve never been shy or uncomfortable telling her those words, and since her memory has returned, I can’t stop them from flowing out of my mouth. What do you mean? You know my name. Don’t you remember I told you the night we met? And surely you’ve heard your mom and everyone else call me Shane at some point.” She nods her small head. I’m . . . good.” She tells me, sounding unsure and making it hard to tell if she’s telling me the truth. I decide not to push.