My grandfather could communicate with ghosts, who would often ask him about his clothes sizing. He was a medium. I saw a sign: ‘Rest Area 25 Miles’. That’s pretty big. Some people must be really tired.” – Steven Wright During my calculus test, I had to sit between identical twins. It was hard to differentiate between them. I want to tell you your fortune." Take her hand and write your phone number on it. "There's your future." I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.” – Steven Wright

109+ Psychic Jokes And Funny Puns - JokoJokes

Your wife and daughter look like twins," my friend said. "Well," I replied, "they were separated at birth." The girls walk in the brunette go's first and says "I think I am the prettiest girl on earth" POOF shes gone. When I saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand, then I realized it was an insight joke! I just found out Albert Einstein existed. My whole life I thought he was a theoretical physicist.A comma. A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally. When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.” – Steven WrightWhen my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein. I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.” At the office barbecue, I grilled a medium rare steak for my boss, and he said, I like it well done! I said, Thanks. That means a lot. This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it’s as big as the last two put together. Short medium puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The medium humour may include short middle jokes also.

Psychic Jokes - BabaMail Psychic Jokes - BabaMail

How did the dad prank his daughter using fake dog poop on April Fools Day? He told her to look out for her new sham-poo in the shower.

List Of The Best Psychic Jokes I Found In Cyberspace

All the plants in my house are dead—I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with an ice cube.” – Steven Wright When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates. Did you hear Bruce Springsteen changed the lyrics to one of his songs? What’s he going to change next—his hair? His clothes? His face? I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At 175 Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help but Laugh At

Here is a list of funny medium sized jokes and even better medium sized puns that will make you laugh with friends. Two psychics meet on the street. One says “lovely weather at the moment”. The other says, “yes, reminds me of the summer of 2027”. What was said about the messy, angry man who was eating a can of Pringles? He’s got a chip on his shoulder.My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve." His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

The best psychic jokes - Tony Hyland Psychic Services The best psychic jokes - Tony Hyland Psychic Services

Are Dad jokes good for you? Inarguably. Recent studies have shown that a good dose of humor, however groan-worthy, can lower your risk of cardiovascular illness, increase your body's ability to fight pain and prevent disease, and even help you live longer. Yes, fine, it didn’t help my dad live longer, but I know for a fact that he was laughing on the last day of his life, and that seems like the best possible way to leave this mortal coil. The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line… Only a fraction of people will understand this!

Dad Jokes

Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out. The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.” If it evokes a reaction somewhere between cringing and earnest laughter, and you simultaneously want to tell the person sharing the joke to tell you more and also shut up because they’re embarrassing you in front of your friends, congratulations, you’re in the presence of a Dad joke. Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker. What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.